hi, i’m allie
Certified Sex & Intimacy Coach, lifelong dancer, nature-lover & shy exhibitionist
I’m here to help you come home to your body, awaken your sexual confidence, and bring your whole self into love and intimacy.
So you can feel more alive, more connected, and more supported.
Think of me as your pleasure advocate and partner in healing.
As your coach, here’s how I’ll show up for you:
In relationship: Our connection is integral to this work. And the relationship you have with me is different than the relationship you have with a therapist. I share my boundaries, but am also tender and vulnerable with you.
With my heart: I bring a tremendous amount of myself — my love, empathy and intuition — into our connection.
As a healer: We all have beliefs and patterns that prevent us from having the intimacy we long for. I help you see your core wounds and nurture your inner child so that you can invite more intimacy with yourself and others.
As a shame slayer: I help reduce the shame you feel for being sexual, having needs, and being you. So that you can accept yourself, express yourself and feel worthy of pleasure and love.
Practically: As much as I encourage deep emotional work, I also help you find tangible ways to realize your sex and relationship goals. And work with you in an experiential way to improve your intimacy skills.
Playfully: Turns out healing can be fun! I orient our connection around pleasure and play so that you can bring more of these qualities into your relationships — and life.
Let me share a bit about my journey to becoming a Sex & Intimacy Coach…
I’ve been interested in sex and my pleasure since I was young. Intrigued by the warm tingly sensations that would arise when I saw movies or read books that alluded to sex, and masturbating for the first time before I even knew what it was.
But sex hasn’t always been a place of empowerment for me. I lost my virginity at 15 and looking back now I see that I wasn’t ready. I rushed myself because I thought it was what I should do to get my boyfriend at the time to stay with me.
This anxiety and fear of people leaving me would continue to shape how I would navigate the world of sex and romantic relationships until my early 30s.
I remember sexual experiences that were painful, didn’t feel good, or that I didn’t want or wasn’t ready for, but I struggled to speak up.
And even as sex got better for me and I did experience pleasure, I would continue to have sex with people quickly in hopes it would lead to more. But it often wouldn't, which left me feeling heartbroken, alone, and lost as to how to get the love, connection and security I deeply longed for.
I was trying to be as easy to love as possible by avoiding difficult conversations about my true feelings and pretending like I didn’t need much. And this people pleasing behavior attracted partners who I felt unsafe expressing my feelings and needs with, which perpetuated the cycle of feeling anxious and insecure.
But suppressing my feelings would catch up to me (as it always does in one way or another); what seemed like out of nowhere I would get so triggered that I would have outbursts (imagine a toddler throwing a tantrum). And afterwards I would feel remorseful and ashamed.
I would often stay in toxic relationships where my emotional needs weren’t being met because I was addicted to the sex — but also thought it was the best I would ever get.
Eventually (after two broken promise rings in one year), I saw that there was a pattern, and the pattern was me — I saw that I was caretaking others and lying about or omitting what I was feeling and needing.
I stopped blaming my partners and parents. I hired a relationship coach and began exploring and designing my own sex and intimacy healing journey — which proved to be one of the most impactful and transformative things I had ever done for myself (and I’ve tried A LOT).
Here’s some of what I’ve learned on my healing journey:
I realized that at the root of my people-pleasing and caretaking tendencies (prioritizing other people’s wants, needs, and feelings at the expense of my own) was a fear of abandonment and not getting love. I started having more self-compassion and less shame around these behaviors.
I realized that I had not been letting people get to know the real me (especially when I was putting up a front that I was fine when I wasn’t), which was the primary reason for the lack of intimacy in my relationships and security within myself.
I realized that my tantrums and emotional outbursts were a result of my unexpressed feelings and unmet needs. I started vulnerably expressing in the moment when something felt off or I needed something.
I realized that I desired and deserved more than good sex in a relationship - I desired and deserved true intimacy which is much more than good sex and involves both partners showing up fully including their feelings, needs, insecurities, boundaries and desires.
I learned that talking about my sexual shame and traumatic experiences was essential to healing and embodying myself fully.
I started sharing when something wasn’t feeling good for me sexually, and cultivated an empowered, shame-free relationship with my sexual self. This confidence and self-expression spilled over into every other aspect of life.
I found and fostered an aligned partnership and sex life that regularly meets my core desires of feeling safe and special.
After experiencing how profoundly healing sex and intimacy work was in my own life…
I realized I wanted to help people experience the transformation I had.
After 10 years as health and wellness coach and yoga instructor, I wanted more tools to help my clients reduce shame, love themselves, feel worthy of pleasure, and connect more deeply with themselves and others.
So I received my Certification as a Sex and Relationship Coach from the Somatica® Institute and I haven’t looked back since. Guiding others on this life-changing journey of emotional and erotic empowerment is the most aligned work I’ve ever done.
can you relate to my story?
Are you ready for a healing path that celebrates your sexuality and illuminates your deepest needs and desires?
I’d love to support you in having more intimacy, connection, and pleasure in your life.
Things I love…
Climbing mountains, backpacking and camping with my love 🏕️
Salsa dancing 💃🏼
Backcountry and downhill skiing 🎿
Swimming in the ocean (and sometimes attempting to surf) 🌊
Earthing 🦶🏻
Matcha lattes 🍵
Roleplay (the kinky kind) 😉
Romantic reality TV 🌹
Writing non-fiction and poetry ✍🏻
My tabby cat Bindi 🐈
Instagram (@iamallieandrews)
